Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Asking right questions

Do you know assumption is a killer of relations? Expectations are always difficult to fulfill unless they are clearly defined.
When we are in relation with someone (friend, father, mother, wife, siblings, kids, clients…) we start assuming something and that increase the level of expectations from receiving person. Now here is the catch, the other person if having his very strong (6th) sense to find your expectations, he will surely meet expectations but if that is not the case (most likely) then you face a clash or frustration towards the individual. If this happens couple of times, then god only is the savior, especially when it’s the relation of love, marriage or friendship. (People cannot break blood relationship very often but other than that all relations are open for breakage)
Question comes to the mind; did we set the expectation right? Did we inform the person in advance that we are expecting this much in this time duration? If no then sorry but we were the epicenter of this entire clash that could be major if we don’t control at the beginning.
A theory of asking right question can save lot of damage. By asking a right question especially at right time is as good as pioneering a success in relations. DO NOT HASITATE TO ASK QUESTION, NO MATTER HOW STUPID IS THAT : - )
A stupid question is much better to ask then replying intelligently without objective.
Asking questions not only saves relations but it builds a base for long terms success and peace of mind. The questions could be from either end, if you are the person who wants someone to do something for you, better to ask now that “my dear, I am expecting this from you, do you think you can? When? If not why?” . It might sound illogical (certain cultures doesn’t permit it also ) if such questions are asked in blood relations but I believe it’s high time to be open in relations, no matter how close they are. Because at least you are reducing chances of hurting someone unknowingly.
You could be at receiving end, you are a son of father, brother or husband, better to ask “Can you tell me something that how we can make our relations better, What shall I do that can make you happy? Did I hurt you sometime in past?”. Try this;
Believe me you will come across something really shocking, you will know if that person was hurt some day by you or what you are doing wrong with that person.
So next step, improve and keep asking the questions.
Talking about business relations, the key to retain clients, Ask questions.
Now a days clients are not sitting close to you, you cannot just drive and reach them, so relation with them has become crucial. They asked you some project work or some product, expected a lot, you didn’t knew it and here is the clash.
Interview the client, ask them what do they expect, do they have any deadline for this? And then set expectation right, Only if you are capable to finish , tell them yes you will sure try it and if you are not, better say no.


  1. I enjoy your insight. I believe this to be true 100%. Setting expectations and asking the right questions eliminates many frustrations later. I think family members and marital relationships struggle with this the most because they're afraid of disappointing one another.

    Another great read!! Thank you!

  2. Expectations are not fulfill always but expectations are the personal thinking of the human being.. He Can Not Guess Or use His Sixth Sense, Because It Depends Upon the Person Who Judge You.
    But He Must Have To prepare For Setting New Goals.. Because Don't Loose Hope Is The Moral Of Story..

    "Arise Awake And Stop Not Till You Fulfill your Expectation."

    Bhagwat Singh

  3. Yes,Mr.Mahendra, I really apologize you for your thinking like a truthfull man. I enjoyed your thinking.You are absolutely right that you have to ask that what is your expectation and if we can do it then and then we should have to say yes or else say No.I like this thing the most that not to put any person in dark.


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