Sunday, October 4, 2009

People Management and Relations

Good and healthy relations can pay off for life time, it’s like planting a tree that gives short term and long term benefits at different stages of life.

We should value our relations with nears and dears, friends, colleagues, neighbors, vendors and clients. a relation once spoiled could be a loss of opportunity like cutting a tree which could have served us for life long.

We all almost know how to maintain relations but sometimes some behavioral oversight causes us a crack in relations, I would like to advice few of following tips that could help us build and maintain relations, it could be used by the leaders to manage people.

1.” Put yourself in other’s shoes “, this could solve many of the problems you have with others. Try to understand the other person, his background and his situation when he/she misbehaved with you. He might have been annoyed by situation, he might not be aware when he misbehaved. Try to understand the situation at other end, communicate with the person and try to find the fact than a fault. This would help you retain the relations.

2. “Ignorance is the slow poison for relations”, try not to ignore people or they will start ignoring you J. We start ignoring people for many reasons, sometimes we are busy a lot that we don’t care about others, sometimes intentionally we ignore because we believe we are better than others, under any case that leads to spoil a relation, we tend to lose a friend, a colleague, a client, a vendor who could have significantly contributed in our growth.

3. “Control the aggression or aggression will control you”, it’s good to be aggressive but for relations its all reverse, it’s always good to express compassion in relations than aggression. We should not do a conversation that could make us feel sorry about ourselves. Build courage to listen to an advice, a real truth about ourselves or take blame positively. If someone is communicating to us with our entire fault, a hidden truth about us or my inability to tackle a situation then it’s all what he/she thinks about us, and possible it could be a reflection of my behavior with that individual.

4. “Don’t wait to say Sorry or it will be too late to say that”, apology will surely put you in different stage in relations. Being an human, we are bound to make mistakes, but we always have chances to fill the gaps but our apologetic behavior. Express your caring feeling and the other person will be willing to go to any extent to retain relations with you.

“We have never seen the God and Might never see it in remaining life but God sends his agents around us in the form of relations to help us in difficult situations”


  1. Also importantly relationships usually involve some level of interdependence. People in a relationship tend to influence each other, share their thoughts and feelings, and engage in activities together. Because of this interdependence, most things that change or impact one member of the relationship will have some level of impact on the other member. So the balancing equation between independence and interdependence goes on…

  2. yes sir that is right.... because ek doha hai..

    Rahiman Dhaaga Prem Ka Mat Todo Chitkaay,
    Toote Se Phir Na Jude, Jude Gaath Pad Jaaye..

    Relationship are too sensitive thing in the life..

    So Take Care of That...

    and if u do a mistake don't hesitate to feel sorry...

    i have seen many people only take care about the -ve point of the person.. no one is perfect. so try to focus on the +ve things of the person & try to understand him..

    because if relation breaks then it will Pains a lot...

  3. Bhagwat, I appreciate your comments. Relations are the most important part of life, one good gesture, a help done to someone without expectations pays off even after years.

  4. Relationship is not depending on conditions or any others. It is depending on thoughts that how you understand and how he/she understands and how to treat with them.
    If you’re and in front of you have same thoughts then not problem to make Good relationship, but if though are not same then that will not run long life rather If try to be similar in thoughts.

  5. I'm no expert but I believe the two most important aspects of any relationship are compatibility AND timing. Most of it you have no control over. That compatibility I'm referring to is based on so many personality traits and prior life circumstances that it either makes a connection between two people work naturally, or not. (I think this is why some people just "click"). You shouldn't have to mold who you are to make it work, and the other involved has to be completely accepting of who you are. (Cliche I know, but it is so true.) The timing aspect is just as important, it is imperative for both of these elements to be just right for it to work - unfortunately more often then not, they aren't.

    I've learned that letting it be, just as it is, things will normally work themselves out better because there is less resistance. You just have to remember to remind yourself to do it! The mind can be tricky.

    Staying positive and send out good vibes - it will come back to you in so many ways. I've seen too many connections / coincidences in my life based on my positive or negative state of mind to think otherwise. I like to practice the teachings of Eckhart, or any Buddhist teachings for that matter. It has been a lifesaver for me. The Buddhist principles have helped me so much because my mind rarely stops unless I make the effort, and it is such a relief to drop all of it and just let things be as they are. This will help you 'be present' when you approach your next relationship. The universe is on your side :)

  6. Erin, I appreciate your valuable Inputs.


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